Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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