Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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