She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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