Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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