I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
