Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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