p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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