he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize