11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
