WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
