can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
