SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
