hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
