Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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