You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
