What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
