i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
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