good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
