Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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