someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
