So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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