even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Welp...herpes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize