Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
