Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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