WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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