you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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