how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
