Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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