Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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