Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
