My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
