we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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