You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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