Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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