OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize