p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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