I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this just has baby written all over it
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
