Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
