Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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