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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.

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• (530): View more from California

  I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

  (1-530): View more from California

  fuck. you.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.

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• (714): View more from California

  Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?

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• (631): View more from New York

  Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me

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• (916): View more from California

  You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.

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