I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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