You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
