Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
