You made me cry and you don't even care
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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