we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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