I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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