I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
