Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
