Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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