dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
