3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
