He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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