they said they heard you say put it in my butt
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
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I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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