How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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