So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
