Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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