FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
