my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
