just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize