I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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