i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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