i jhust puked up my retainher.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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