I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
