If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
