So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
