omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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