Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
