do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
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IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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