apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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