Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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